I was reading this article this morning, which talks about a 14 year old Texas girl who is suing MySpace after she was assaulted by a guy that she met on the social networking site.

First of all, I can obviously see that this case is ludicrous, and I am sure any Judge worth the wood in their gavel will see it the same way. Suing MySpace over an assault is like suing the telephone company for getting an STD after hooking up with someone on a dating service.

Second, I know relatively little about MySpace, other than thinking its stupid. But from what I have heard, the whole point is that kids go on here, make a profile, so they can meet people. Whether they are meeting for a hookup or for friendship, I am sure differs from case to case. But from what I can tell, the 14 year old girl decided she was going to hook up with the 19 year old supposed captain of the football team (DUH!! I didn't know too many 19 year olds in high school), which, is a point that she names in the lawsuit (that he was able to lie about his identity - WELCOME TO THE INTERNET, HONEY).

So heres what I think happened:

The girl meets up with the guy. They go out someplace for a quick bite to eat (where would a 19 year old take his prospective 14 year old girlfriend - maybe for some pipin' hot Arby's?), They decide to go back to his place, since, like, his parents are SO out of town. Things get crazy, she touches his stiffy places and he touches her gooey places. Afterwards, he "assaults" her. I don't know if this is the sexual encounter itself, or if he walloped her ala Ike and Tina. She goes home, feeling bad, and says "You know what mom? You know that site you told me I shouldn't be using since I am only 14, and I didn't listen to you, and it wouldn't have made any difference because you have no FUCKING CLUE what I do on the internet because you are too busy with your adult life until it's too late? Well, I went there, and here's what happened." Now, Mom, being the smart Texas cookie we all know she is, says "Gee. It can't be MY fault that I didn't monitor my daughter's internet usage, and it can't be my daughter's fault for being a 14 year old skank biscuit who went to hook up with a 19 year old boy. It must be the COMPUTERS FAULT! LETS SUE THE COMPUTER! The computer should be smart enough to know that people are using Myspace for (SHOCK!) SEX and HOOKUPS?! [Watch CNN, bitch, everyone has seen the news stories]."

People are SOOO stupid and litigous anymore. You should be able to sue someone for being a stupid skank biscuit and filing stupid lawsuits. Then again, that would be counter productive.

*Hunting camels is prohibited. (The US Army once experimented with camels in the Arizona desert, and eventually gave up. The remaining camels were set free, and are now protected.)

*Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

*There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (The Saguaro cactus, treasured by Arizonians, has been endangered by those who find pleasure in shooting or cutting down cacti. Thus, a law was passed to protect the cactus.)

*Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

*A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".

*It is illegal to produce imitation cocaine.

*When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

*It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. (In the summer-time, with temperatures reaching topping 120 degrees, often people will need water, but may not have the money to pay for it (mainly applies to homeless). Hence, the law. It is very much in effect today, with businesses being reported (and heavily fined) who refuse to supply water to those who ask for it. Convenience stores are the primary businesses who uphold this law.)

*You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Globe:
*Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.

Hayden:
*If you bother bullfrogs or cottontails, you will be fined.

Maricopa County:
*No more than six females may live in any house. (The zoning ordinance was intended to crack down on the proliferation of brothels. However, lawmakers did not forsee cultural changes such as groups of girls living together in a sorority house.)

Mesa:
*It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. There may be a similar law to this in Tucson...

Mojave County:
*A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

Nogales:
*An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.

Prescott:
*No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.

Tempe:
*One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint. This is STATE law in Ohio if I am not mistaken and I believe that it includes all markers of any kind

Tombstone:
*It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. I have been to Tombstone and they could RAKE in the fines if they wanted to start enforcing this one...

Tucson:
*Women may not wear pants. ...but I appreciate that they do...

Lolz...