I was reading this article this morning, which talks about a 14 year old Texas girl who is suing MySpace after she was assaulted by a guy that she met on the social networking site.

First of all, I can obviously see that this case is ludicrous, and I am sure any Judge worth the wood in their gavel will see it the same way. Suing MySpace over an assault is like suing the telephone company for getting an STD after hooking up with someone on a dating service.

Second, I know relatively little about MySpace, other than thinking its stupid. But from what I have heard, the whole point is that kids go on here, make a profile, so they can meet people. Whether they are meeting for a hookup or for friendship, I am sure differs from case to case. But from what I can tell, the 14 year old girl decided she was going to hook up with the 19 year old supposed captain of the football team (DUH!! I didn't know too many 19 year olds in high school), which, is a point that she names in the lawsuit (that he was able to lie about his identity - WELCOME TO THE INTERNET, HONEY).

So heres what I think happened:

The girl meets up with the guy. They go out someplace for a quick bite to eat (where would a 19 year old take his prospective 14 year old girlfriend - maybe for some pipin' hot Arby's?), They decide to go back to his place, since, like, his parents are SO out of town. Things get crazy, she touches his stiffy places and he touches her gooey places. Afterwards, he "assaults" her. I don't know if this is the sexual encounter itself, or if he walloped her ala Ike and Tina. She goes home, feeling bad, and says "You know what mom? You know that site you told me I shouldn't be using since I am only 14, and I didn't listen to you, and it wouldn't have made any difference because you have no FUCKING CLUE what I do on the internet because you are too busy with your adult life until it's too late? Well, I went there, and here's what happened." Now, Mom, being the smart Texas cookie we all know she is, says "Gee. It can't be MY fault that I didn't monitor my daughter's internet usage, and it can't be my daughter's fault for being a 14 year old skank biscuit who went to hook up with a 19 year old boy. It must be the COMPUTERS FAULT! LETS SUE THE COMPUTER! The computer should be smart enough to know that people are using Myspace for (SHOCK!) SEX and HOOKUPS?! [Watch CNN, bitch, everyone has seen the news stories]."

People are SOOO stupid and litigous anymore. You should be able to sue someone for being a stupid skank biscuit and filing stupid lawsuits. Then again, that would be counter productive.

There are a couple of people on my shitlist right now. Since I dont have time to post details, I will just be mature and post this...

I hope you get syphillis.